Alpha Invitation Dinner
This is a great night out–a time to talk about life, meet interesting people, eat good food.
Your friend doesn’t need to come to the other evenings!
Wondering what’s the best way to invite someone?
George Hunter: “A simple invitation may be most cutting edge evangelism approach we can employ. Most people will not come unless they’re invited. They wouldn’t visit someone else’s turf. Most won’t respond to the first invitation. They have to be invited again so they can see we really mean it”.[1]
Below is a summary of suggestions that Garry Poole offers in his book, Seeker Small Groups[2]to help people invite friends to his Small Groups for outsiders. They apply well to challenge of inviting friends to an Alpha course.
Be Aware of fears your friend might have:
Ø Fear of the unknown:Most outsiders have never been to a small group discussion focused on spiritual matters. What will the people be like? Will I have to pray or sing? Will I be lectured or preached at?
Fear of exposing ignorance: No one wants to look or feel stupid
*Fear of being put on the spot
* Fear of long-term commitment
* Fear of not fitting in and being judged
*Fear of change
*Fear of joining a cult
*Fear of wasting time and money
*Fear of confidentiality links
*Fear of rejection
*Fear of being pressured and manipulated
1. Think ahead of what fears might be barriers for your friend. Put yourself in their shoes. “How would I feel about going to an Alpha Course if I was a non-Christian?”
2. Consider ways to alleviate and dispel those fears. Figure out how to extend the invitation in such a way that you relieve your friends of their fears. Fears are diminished as the invitation is explained.
INVITATION GUIDELINES
1. Earn the right to invite: The greater the level of trust you have with your seeking friends, the greater the chance that your request for a onetime visit to an Alpha Introductory Night will be honored.
For someone you don’t have a strong personal relationship with, your could say something like this:
“I know we don’t really know each other that well, but I thought I’d let you know about something I’m doing anyway, just in case you’re interested. I’m going to be part of a small group on the Alpha Course. Alpha is an opportunity to explore the Christian faith in a relaxed setting, and is for people from any religious background or viewpoint. Each evening we have a have dinner together, hear a talk, and have a small group discussion time where everyone is free to express their view point, and no question is too hostile or too naïve. It’s a great way to develop friendships with people who have many different perspectives on the big questions of life.”
2. Never say No for an Outsider: Don’t pre-determine who will or will not accept your invitation. You could well exclude someone who might be eager to attend Alpha. Do your best to avoid saying no for someone else by not offering an invitation at all. Also don’t phrase the invitation negatively (e.g. “You probably wouldn’t want to come to something like this…..”). Many times the very people we think would never want to come turn out to be the most enthusiastic ones!
3. Ask face to face: It’s best to make the first invitation in person.
4. Be warm and friendly: Your kindness, gentleness and enthusiasm can go a long way. But always be willing to back off if the person you’re inviting expresses a lack of interest.
5. Be very specific: Communicate exactly what it is you are inviting someone to attend. An Alpha flyer can be really helpful here.
6. Dispel Outsiders’ fears: Address and dispel your friends’ fears at some point in the invitation.
7. Always give a disclaimer: “Just come once and check it out. If it’s not for you, you have no obligation to return. But if you do enjoy the time, of course you are welcome to visit again.” This assures your friend that you’ll never pressure them or use guilt tactics to get them to come again.
8. Ask for a Yes or No Response: “What do you think? Would you be able to attend?”.Try to ask for a decision one way or the other without being pushy. If your friend shows hesitation, tell them you understand. Then contact them again, to see what they attend to do.
If someone declines, simply state that you totally respect that decision and that it’s not a problem. You can add something like this:
“Just so I know I’m not bothering you in the future, do you mind if I invite you to things I think you might enjoy at the church?”
9. Be patient – never give up. Rejection comes with the territory. In many cases it’s really just part of the seeking process. Your friend may just not be ready, but may surprise you later. Sometimes they need more than one invitation just to assure themselves and you’re interested in them and that you mean it.
10. Follow up with the friends you invite: Confirm your friend’s response to your invitation by contacting them to see if they have any questions or concerns. They may need a reminder a few days before the meeting. You may even arrange to travel together to the Alpha venue. A phone call, email, or postcard can be an appropriate, nonintrusive way to touch base.
Keep praying for your friends whether they have accepted your invitation or not.
[1]“Re-Thinking Evangelism, April 6, 2003
[2]Garry Poole, Seeker Small Groups: Engaging Spiritual Seekers in Life-Changing Discussions, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI, 2003
